Goodbye, Pride

Pride can feel like protection, but it often keeps us from the healing we need.

In this episode of In Your Favor, we’re diving into the subtle ways pride can show up in our relationships and our walk with God. I’m sharing personal moments where pride kept me guarded, how Scripture called me into deeper humility, and the ways vulnerability and accountability have shaped my healing.

If you've ever struggled with letting people in, admitting you’re wrong, or trusting God over yourself, this episode is for you. Let’s talk about the kind of heart transformation God desires, and how humility makes space for growth, love, and true connection.

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Transcript

Amanda Beauford (00:01)
Hey, all, and welcome back to the In Your Favor podcast. I am your host, Amanda. And if you are new here, welcome, welcome, welcome. If you are returning, welcome back. So excited that you have joined me for another week of stories, lessons, things, tips, all the ins and outs that I have learned on my walk with Christ.

I have been putting this episode off, to be honest, because honestly, I didn't want to do it. And it is really hard. I feel like I say that every week. I'm like, we don't want to talk about this. We don't talk about that. But truthfully, I did not want to make this episode partly because I felt like how do I speak on something I'm still walking through or how do I speak on something that God is still working on in my heart and.

it kept coming up and so I was like, here we are, we're doing it, we're talking about it. I know I have mentioned it quite a few episodes already and how there would be an episode. But one of the things I just want to start with is by saying although this is something that I am still, like it's an ongoing thing, right?

I am only going to speak from the things that have been revealed, not the things that I'm trying to project onto anybody else. Because again, I'm still figuring out too. It's hard. My heart, she's still healing. She's still growing. She's still doing all the things. And as I walk very openly and vulnerably with you guys, I definitely want to be transparent about where I am. And so today, y'all, we are talking about pride. ⁓

gag. Don't want to, but we're doing it anyway. And so I want to just start by saying, you know, what even is pride, right? And I feel like pride really is just like all about me, me, me, me, me, my way. I know better. I don't need help. I'm more important. My feelings, my opinion, my this, my that. And it's really this just like self-reliance, self-protection, self-importance.

And when pride is in the driver's seat, it will always, always, always have an impact on our relationships. And so that's kind of what I want to focus on is how pride has impacted my relationships in the past and kind of where I'm at and what I'm really walking through and kind of what God is revealing to me as he works on my heart to just soften that thing, just soften that thing. But I want to jump into some scripture starting off in Proverbs 11 to says,

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. And as I was preparing for this episode, as I mentioned, y'all, I did not want to make it. So I had been putting this off. This is supposed to be the second episode of this podcast. And I didn't want to make it. I was like, I don't feel like I know enough. All these things, whatever. And I started just doing a little bit more studying and preparing for the episode.

I came across the amplified version of the scripture. And I love the amplified version as someone who needs a little extra sometimes when I'm reading the brackets are so helpful for me. But the amplified version of this scripture says, when pride comes, boiling up with an arrogant attitude of self-importance, then come dishonor and shame, but with the humble.

And then in the brackets, it says, the teachable who have been chiseled by trial and who have learned to walk humbly with God, there is wisdom and soundness of mind. And so obviously, a lot to unpack there. But the part that really jumped out at me was where it says, the humble. And then in the brackets, it says, the teachable who have been chiseled by trial. ⁓

And so it's not just going through stuff. It's not just having this podcast and talking about these lessons and all these things. But it really is you were chiseled by trial, but you have also learned to walk humbly with God. Then there is wisdom and soundness of mind. And so that really stood out because that's where I feel like I am. Right. It's like through the through the trials, through the stories, through the lessons, through the things my life that I've lived, I am learning and have learned to walk humbly with God.

And through that, there has been wisdom and a soundness of mind that I can then share with you all. But just how Pride shows up, I'm going to jump in to share a few stories, even talk actively about where I am, right? And so the first one, or guess maybe one of the first times that I really was aware that I needed to address my heart issue with Pride was when I had, you know,

Let me backtrack just little bit because I knew I had struggles with pride in my relationships and creating a false sense of protection. I grew up in a household where sorry was not said very often. Apologizing was not really a thing ever. growing up in a place, as I've mentioned kind of in my past year, like with some of my trauma of being very much like I'm on my own and I have to do it on my own.

being able to be vulnerable and say, I'm sorry, or being able to be vulnerable and expressing the...

defensiveness that I carried, it felt very vulnerable. And so I just want to start by saying, this was not new over the last few years, right? Like, this is something that I knew I have struggled with for a while. But this particular story ⁓ happened a few years ago where I had a falling out with someone who I loved so, much, still loved, still in my life, still very much locked in. But we had.

this falling out and it was so evident that it was pride on both ends that when we actually sat down to have the conversation, the conversation didn't go the way either one of us thought it would go because we were anticipating how the other person was gonna show up. basically, we ended up having to have a very hard, uncomfortable conversation and talk about like boundaries and expectations and the miscommunication that led to the falling out to begin with and it was like, I wanted

When we first said, I'm not talking to you anymore, it was like, I wanted it to be, let's have a conversation to address it right now. I'm not going to sit on this. This is stupid. We just need to talk it out. You need to hear where I'm coming from. And she was like, actually, I don't want to talk to you. And her not wanting to talk to me fueled this need for, I need her to talk to me. I need this to be solved.

And I need her to understand like why where I'm coming from and like I wanted it to be my way So bad that I was still reaching out I was still texting her like I want to talk I want to talk I want to talk and I wasn't getting anything back and When we actually were able to have the conversation it was like ⁓ I'm seeing it now very clearly where where this went left and ultimately

It was prideful for me to want it to go my way and to try to force her into a conversation. But also the pride she had seen in me was keeping her from wanting to have the conversation with me because I was very defensive in conflict. I was very argumentative and would very openly, this was kind of like a thing in my family. People would be like.

oh Amanda's gonna argue it out, like she's gonna come up with the facts, she's gonna come up with the receipts, like no questions asked, and so that intimidated her to even want, she didn't wanna have the conversation with me because she's like, already know that this is going to be you against me, not us against the problem. And so she, how I had showed up before was keeping her from wanting to engage in conversation with me, even though that's not how I was showing up in that moment of like wanting to sit down and have an open, transparent conversation.

That's where my heart was. Because of the past and the dynamics we had had before, she did not trust that it would be a safe conversation. And so after seeing and hearing feedback in that conversation that was so beautiful, afterwards we were both like, why did we not do this sooner? But also we had to go through that in order to even get the breakthrough. It was like, wow.

Hearing the feedback from someone who I love and someone I care about, about how I show up and how that has impact on them was hard to swallow, like lump in my throat. But it was the thing that I needed in order to say like, no, pride is killing my relationships. Like this is someone who I love, someone who I care about, who I would go to bat for. Like how is this impacting the depth and intimacy and vulnerability within our dynamic?

And how do I fix that? And how do I work through that to show up healthier for the people around me? And when you are operating from such a place of pridefulness, it makes it hard to listen. It makes it hard to empathize. And it makes it really, really hard to say I was wrong. And so I, again, had struggled with saying I was wrong. I had struggled with defensiveness. I had struggled with this before. But I realized that truly the-

superpower, essentially, was in the acknowledgement and awareness of that thing, and then deciding not to stay in that. Apologizing is not a weakness. It is actually a strength and a sign of maturity. And it really communicates to people that you care about. I care more about this relationship than I care about being right. And I can't say that's always where I was.

absolutely wholeheartedly feel that way now, but that is not where I was operating from. I was like, I'm gonna argue down, you're gonna hear my point and I'm gonna somehow convince you that your feelings or whatever doesn't matter and that my way is right and it's like, that's not how it works. And so, us navigating that was helpful for me to see myself, but it also was healthy for our friendship and friendship is not passive, it is very intentional.

It requires vulnerability, requires accountability, and it requires grace. And so although it took a lot of work, the grace that was extended to me and the grace that I extended to her for us to be able to have an even stronger, healthier relationship now, it was like, wow, like it was worth it at the end of the day to go through that. But many people isolate themselves because they don't want to be challenged. They don't want to be corrected in relationships or in community. And that's prideful too.

We are created for community and real honest, challenging, iron sharpens iron community only happens with friction. And it's like, if you are around people who never challenge you, I would say really sit with that, like evaluate that because we are not always right. We do not always get it right. That's literally what the whole premise of this podcast is right. Like we don't get it right all the time.

And so if you do not have people who are in a healthy way, like challenging you to grow and creating some healthy feedback in terms of how you show up, I would challenge you to explore that a little bit deeper because if you're avoiding healthy accountability and you're avoiding that growth, you're also avoiding the growth that God wants to bring to you through others, right?

you are in the way, kind of. Sorry, hate to say it, but you're in the way. You're kind of in the way. So I want to actually go back to scripture, too, and talk about King Hezekiah, because I was reading in Second Kings and then Second Chronicles about King Hezekiah. And then I was like, ⁓ I can tie this into this episode. And I'm going to read the message version. But essentially, King Hezekiah was

He healed from a deathly illness and he had begged God for help. He got answers, got a sign, God extended his life. once he got what he wanted, he kind of was like, all right, God, like it wasn't the, he didn't give God what God deserved for what God did. And the Bible says, Hesekiah did not repay according to the favor shown to him for his heart was lifted up. And that.

jumped out at me because I truly believe that pride is a heart issue. And we do this, right? Like we plead with God in desperation. We'll be like, yo, once I get that one check, God, I'ma tie, I'ma take care of you. I'ma give back. Or once you pay this bill or once you just do this one thing, God, like, I'm not going to forget you. And then we get the thing and then we forget to give God that same attention and devotion that we had when we were in need of the thing.

That's another episode, that's another topic. But I love how it's worded that his heart was lifted up, right? And so in verse, it's second Chronicles 23. I'm gonna read the message version because I like the way that this is worded. But it says in verse 24, sometime later, Hezekiah became deathly sick. He prayed to God and was given a reassuring sign. But the sign,

Instead of making Hezekiah grateful, made him arrogant. This made God angry and his anger spilled over on Judah and Jerusalem. But then Hezekiah and Jerusalem with him repented of his arrogance and God withdrew his anger while Hezekiah lived. And so going back to verse 26, then Hezekiah humbled himself for the pride of his heart is what one translation says. So the wrath of the Lord did not come upon them. And it's like.

When we choose to lift ourselves up above God, it not only has impact on us and our relationship with God, but it also has an impact on the people around us. And it's not just a behavior issue. Like pride isn't just how you show up or how you're acting. It's really about what you believe in the deepest parts of yourself. Like what narratives do you tell yourself about how you're showing up? ⁓

Pride says, I know better than God. I can handle this on my own. I don't need to change. And we see that throughout scripture, right? Like, I know better than God. Achan in Joshua 7, taking a curse thing from the camp, or taking a cursed things from Jericho when God said destroy everything. You don't know better than God. Why are you taking things that you were not supposed to have? Like, what are you doing? ⁓ And then it caused the

entire nation to ultimately lose the battle, the second battle coming out. So it's like, why do you think you know better than God? Pride says, I can handle this on my own. David and Bathsheba, like, I have taken this man's wife. I can handle this on my own. Let me kill her husband. Like, what? No. That is not it. ⁓ Pride even says, like, I don't need to change. And that's where I was for a long time, right?

I was like, oh, it's everybody else. And in reality, other people may have had a part in it, but it was me, ultimately. It was Amanda. And we're reminded of what that looks like in Luke, where it says in scripture, Luke 6, 45, a good person produces good from the treasure of their heart, for the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. And it's like, what?

Am I saying, what narratives am I speaking about me that are outpouring from this hardness in my heart? And if pride is showing up in your defensiveness and you can't apologize and you feel like you struggle to take correction, like that is the loudest indicator that there is a block in your heart. There is something that you need to go before the Lord and ask him to create in me a clean heart.

Clean me up, soften me up because I don't want it. I don't want to live like this. I don't want to be like this. I don't want to feel like this. Like truly taking that to God and having him just expose your heart to you because he already knows what's in there. But sometimes like you have to see it for yourself in order for things to change.

He doesn't just want us to be better in our behavior. He wants us to have a heart transformation and We see that in Ezekiel 36 as well 26 says I will give you a new heart and put in you a new spirit I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh like It's not about just showing up. It's not about just not doing those

specific behaviors or whatever, it really is a transformation of heart. And when I recognize the pride in my life, I literally am like, Lord, show me me, truly show me me because I know it's not everybody else around me. And I know like there are moments where things pop up. I'm even walking through a situation now where I'm like, but what about my feelings or what about how I feel and what about me, me, me, me?

And it was keeping me from seeing the other person's perspective. And even though I was willing to extend grace, I was so hurt. And I'm still working through that hurt that it was like, I don't know how to reach back out again. I don't know how to take the next step because I feel like I have to protect myself. And I'm like, Lord, reveal to me me.

Show me where pride is keeping me from relationship because I don't care about being right more than I care about being in relationship more than I care about being connected to this person because I love them. And so just inviting God in to soften your heart and asking him to renew your mind and help you walk in humility. As I mentioned, like we see it multiple times throughout scripture, right? How pride digs us into a deeper hole like with David and Bathsheba like

David was covering up sin with another sin because he was operating from a place of pride. It's like, it's not drawing you closer to the Lord by being in this prideful place. so Proverbs 13, 10 tells us, by pride comes nothing but strife. And Proverbs 28, 25 says, he who is of a proud heart stirs up strife. like we create trouble out of operating out of pride. We create issues out of operating out of pride.

And so just reminding yourself that your pain and your trauma, all of those things are real. They are very real. I'm not minimizing what you went through or what I went through that has led me to being here. But healing and processing is the only way to get rid of those defense mechanisms, to really break those chains that are keeping you in bondage ultimately and keeping good things from you, keeping good people from you because

It's not healthy. And even though pride may feel like powerful, it may feel like you have control, it may feel like you have on this cape to keep yourself safe, humility is what God honors and blesses. And by you choosing to not operate from a place of humility, like you're dishonoring God. Luke 14, 11 says, all those who exalt themselves will be humbled and those who humble themselves will be exalted. And it's like,

We, again, going back to the definition of like, we want to put ourselves up. We want to me, me, me, me, me. And Jesus is saying those who humble themselves will be exalted. Like, humility is where you honor God. And it's not necessarily about thinking less of yourself or thinking that you're lower than, but it is thinking less of yourself in a sense of it's not all about.

you. It's not all about you and putting God first and choosing to love people well and choosing to be vulnerable and invite people into your vulnerability safe people right I'm not saying open yourself up to everybody but also pride keeps even the safe people out and so ⁓ let go your need to control everything because I promise you you're not controlling anything anyway you're not controlling anything anyway and just remembering to say goodbye to pride

I that's again something that still comes up for me sometimes where I have to go back to the Lord and say, Lord, help me show me. I being prideful? Am I hurt? Am I operating repeating a narrative that is old and on a loop? Like help me renew my mind. Help me to walk this thing out your way. I want to be humble unto the Lord and help me to do that because I'm struggling. And so when we let go of our need to be right all the time and we let go.

of this urge to just always get our way and like me, me, me again. It's like we choose humility and we're choosing growth and we're choosing to show up with love and grace in our relationships. And ultimately we are showing up in a way that honors the Lord and God has shown us so much favor and we don't take it lightly. But let's also reflect that favor by walking in humility and grace and in his truth. So, you know, I am.

actively navigating this as well and I'm cleaning, God is cleaning up my heart and you're not alone and I understand the moments again with trauma and your past, it can be hard but I definitely know that the Lord has a better way for us and we will get through this together and it is not easy but you can do it, God's got you.

You're not alone by any means and I hope this is a safe space to, if nothing else, just remind you that you are seen and I understand. However, honey, we gotta put it down, okay? We're saying goodbye pride, bye bye, outta here, no longer welcome and we don't have to repeat the cycles even if we have operated out of that way for an extended period of time. We don't have do it anymore and we're choosing to not. We're giving it to the Lord, so.

Thank you for tuning into this week's episode. I hope it resonated. If it did, I would love for you to share it with someone you love. Also, don't forget to like and subscribe so you can be notified when episodes drop every Wednesday at 10 AM. And y'all, remember, we may not always get it right, and we won't always have the answers, but trust it's working in your favor. I love you. Bye.